Thursday, April 15, 2010

Sacrifices and being a military wife

The life of a military wife is tough. Its not for sissies. My husband, who is a Navy diver, and I have been married 10 years. And to be honest, we came thisclose to getting divorced this year. Thank God we were able to work things out. 

There are many things that make a military marriage difficult: 

 There are the obvious problems that come with being apart so often the fear and stress of having the love of your life constantly in danger,  the anger and resentment that comes with the realization that your husbands job and all that it demands must come first- if you planned on having a career you may find it stunted or killed altogether. For me this was the toughest part. Growing apart. Two people who spend more time apart than they spend together, may find when they do come back together that their goals and dreams have changed. This happened to my husband and I- it created animosity, resentment and all sorts of other emotions that slowly poisoned our marriage. Reconciling has taken some big compromises on both sides. 

But the darkest obstacle (and the one military wives rarely talk about as if we fear it will happen if we speak about it )is the fear you will be widowed. I've had many nightmares that my husband is killed, and in those nightmares I felt a terrible pain in the knowledge I would be spending the rest of my life alone, raising our son, without the love of my life.  I've been reading A Little Pink in a World of Camo which is the blog of a widowed Marine wife.  Originally, she was just blogging about the deployment of her husband to Afghanistan, but 2 weeks into that deployment her husband was killed. Reading her blog is heartbreaking, but it forces me to remember that I am so lucky to have my husband, and that out there in the world are many women who would love the opportunity to be angry at her husband, to hold him again, to even have the opportunity to grow apart. Reading her blog makes me appreciate my own position. The blog is truly inspiring and heartbreaking, and Mrs. P is a brave woman to share this time with us. 

If you are married, kiss your husband when you see him next, for all the women who can not kiss their own loves.  

And Mr. Sassy Pants, I love you and I am proud of you. And I am so happy you are still in my life *kisses*


Maile said...

Word. I got nothin' else.

Christina Landry said...

Your honesty is inspiring. Thank you for sharing and for having the courage to say the things most of us shy away from... : )

Jeanette said...

Thank you...I too can share in your anxieties and fears. It helps sometimes to know that you are not alone and that there are others out there who are going through the same thing, but it is still a tough role we play.


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